Pride vs. Love/Lust/Strong Desire/etc…

“Blue Monday” By: Annie Lee

Its been six months since you’ve last spoken to that person. Six months since the last laugh, the last conversation, the last time that voice hit your ear drum. Why? There was no fight. No harsh words were exchanged. The situation just came to a close for obvious reasons but not negative reasons. Its been a long time since that person last crossed your mind. Its been awhile since a song that brings about memories made it into your iTunes shuffled playlist. Its been months since you’ve looked at pictures. Feels like eternity since the last tear fell.

But today, today something reminded you. A song. A movie. A picture. A word. Something. Something reminded you of how happy you were. How he/she made you feel. How great the great times were and how few bad times there existed. But its been months. He/She hasn’t called, so why should you call? If he/she wanted to talk to you wouldn’t she/he have called? But what if he/she is thinking the same thing? After debating you decide to overcome your pride and call. Whats the worst that could happen?

You begin to look for the number and shortly realize that you’ve deleted his/her very existence from your life. Not out of dislike or hate but simply during a prideful rage of, “I need to make sure I don’t call”. But why? Why did you have to make sure that you weren’t the one to call. You desire him, her, it, what was, what could be.

Why do we let pride get in the way of our happiness?

I Do….

I like most women think about the future and more likely than not, that future includes a husband and a couple of kids, well thats what I see in my future at least. So in thinking about this I wanted to know a few things, mostly from men.

What do you look for in a wife?

What is your ideal age for getting married?

Do you have anyone in mind now even though you may not be in a committed relationship?

The above question actually goes out to everyone. I always talk to women who are sad because men essentially put them on a shelf and hope that they will remain there until he is finished sewing his wild oats!!! Men, why do you put women on these shelves, why not marry her when you realize that she is perfect for you? Why must you “play the field” ? I never understood this. Do you think your d**k will rot if you settle down in your mid-twenties? Women, is there a man that you have on your shelf? What’s stopping you?

I kissed you in your mouth, so what?!?!

Time and time again I have asked my male friends this question. If a girl kisses you in your mouth, also known as a French kiss, is that really a signal that she is going to have sex with you, right then and there?

I have French kissed men in the past and found myself in very sticky situations that I had to get away from quite quickly. I don’t see how me kissing you equates to me wanting to hop in the bed with you. Girls, have you ever been in this situation? Guys, please give me some clarity and rationales.

So, I really want to date a black man, but…..

So I just finished watching CNN’s “Black In America”. Thank you Mr. Jobs for iTunes and the ability to purchase shows. This will be the first of several posts stemming from the show.

One thing that was brought up on the first episode is single successful black women finding it difficult to meet and ultimately marry black men. One statistic that they threw out there was that, “there are 1,000,000 more black women working than black men.” 1,000,000!!!!!!! That means that there are 999,999 surplus, employed black women, besides me trying to meet a mate, we can assume, maybe. So if employment is a requirement for dating, the number of eligible men drastically decreases. Once you add in incaceration (or previous incarceration-well maybe depending on the nature of the crime, don’t want to throw too many out of the dating pool), men who don’t like dating black women, those who are already happily in love with a black woman, and homosexuality (damn you Atlanta) I am scared to imagine the number that we are left with.

So what is a successful, attractive, educated, fun, awesome sister left to do, but experiment with other races? I know so many great black men-that are educated, fine, fit, fun, etc, etc-but they are enjoying their status as just that and enjoying too many women to want to settle down with just one. I know so many beautiful, successful, educated, SANE, black women who are single as hell. What is up with that?

For the black men responding, help me understand what is going on. When will you be ready to settle down? Will it be with a black women? Does this matter to you? Do you feel like there are loads of quality black women out there or do we think too highly of ourselves? Fill me in!!!!

For black women responding, are you still trying to find a black man? Does it matter to you? Have you been more successful than me and a lot of my friends? Have you gone out with non-black men? Fill me in!!!!